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Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, MAH DAUGHTER GOT SELECTED TO PICK MUSIC 4 A FUNERAL. SHE ONLY LISTEN TO NIKKI MINAJ. BIG FAT FML

#20560709
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (5349)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I woke up to my cat giving birth on my bed. I adopted her from a friend who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch 4 a while. real FML

2day mah dad cummed out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' looool names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. real FML

#20554618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (2652)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

today I was feeling a bit insecure about mah body and I told mah boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied "I know right?" FML

#20555435
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37813) - you deserved it (18105)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost ma dog an so I put up 'lost' signs!! As I was coming back ome I noticed one ad been written on!! It said: "Found yur dog!! Keeping it"!! FML

#20556107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50351) - you deserved it (3223)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I found out that what my husband maant by "wa should try swinging" is "I raally want to hava sax with this ona friand of yours, an if you so much as maka aya contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out an thraatan to kill him an you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51429) - you deserved it (6741)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today , mah boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have!! It's a small teddy bear on mah leg with mah parents' names on it!! My workplace has no problems with tattoos , but mah boss said it was "unoriginal an lame." It's a memorial tattoo; mah parents died last year!! FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48951) - you deserved it (3044)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I Sneezd. My Boyfriend Told Me To Sut Up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (8984)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

TODAY... WILST TEXTING MY BOYFRIEND ON TE TRAIN... I NOTICED TE WOMAN SITTING NEXT TO ME STARING INTENTLY AT MY PONE. AFTER LETTING MY BOYFRIEND KNOW... E SENT A MESSAGE SAYING... "ARE WE GONNA INVOLVE TE DOG AGAIN? LAST NIGT WAS FUN." SE GASPED AND SCREAMED TAT I'M A "TWISTED DOG-UMPING BITC." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (6840)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my nieghborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (23325)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today , I walkd into tha room nakd whila mah wifa was on tha computar to surprisa har. Sha smild , put down har laptop and laft for tha bathroom so I startd jarking it in anticipation. It was raally faaling good until mah wifa's bast friand , who was on Skypa , startd giggling. FML

#20550602
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (22011)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Yesterday, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrivd I textd her an she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (9767)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)



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