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Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51775) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37956) - you deserved it (5549)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39163) - you deserved it (4242)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36454) - you deserved it (11794)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (4641)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8095) - you deserved it (83701)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (4776)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4950)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (16951)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49437) - you deserved it (4035)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44827) - you deserved it (6220)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56018) - you deserved it (3791)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37863) - you deserved it (18119)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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