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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (4323)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15227) - you deserved it (29580)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32494) - you deserved it (2754)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31893) - you deserved it (5758)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36525) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49005) - you deserved it (11616)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you deserved it (4454)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (49286)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (8225)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36638) - you deserved it (9734)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49237) - you deserved it (6566)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML



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