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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47944) - you deserved it (4824)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49553) - you deserved it (8456)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML

#20546325
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (16522)

On 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (28633)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53293) - you deserved it (12626)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (8868) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (73556)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9013) - you deserved it (89819)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57645) - you deserved it (7354)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (55172)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (17425)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States



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