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Sunday 10 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38224) - you deserved it (4246)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

#20542666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33617) - you deserved it (5227)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9718) - you deserved it (65101)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (4342)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15991) - you deserved it (26298)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (11453)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

#20545866
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37039) - you deserved it (3561)

On 03/16/2013 at 8:17am - misc - by nomorecleaning (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (4450)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49584) - you deserved it (5657)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

#20539367
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (2655)

On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (5052)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (7042)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



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