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Sunday 3 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (8711)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (7167)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (6674)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15567) - you deserved it (47893)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (6548)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (43694)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9922) - you deserved it (73312)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

#20537238
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39166) - you deserved it (9312)

On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (4014)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29088) - you deserved it (4124)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34006) - you deserved it (4777)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States



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