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Sunday 3 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35368) - you deserved it (6781)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (4757)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (3836)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (40552)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (3780)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (44358)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (5776)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (6157)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML

#20530332
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (6510)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (6087)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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