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Friday 1 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33229) - you deserved it (8112)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46135) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (6386)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (6116)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (2278)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (4338)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13282) - you deserved it (73357)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35370) - you deserved it (3756)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (3728)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44904) - you deserved it (5627)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (2963)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16976) - you deserved it (54836)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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