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Friday 1 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (43694)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9921) - you deserved it (73312)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (4014)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29084) - you deserved it (4124)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (4777)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41068) - you deserved it (2475)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (3574)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (6375)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (2776)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47235) - you deserved it (5873)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49068) - you deserved it (6195)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39015) - you deserved it (4121)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML

#20527880
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39069) - you deserved it (5756)

On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)



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