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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (2521)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31678) - you deserved it (3179)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (9439)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15186) - you deserved it (24116)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (13477)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (5836)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (7655)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML

#20534670
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40311) - you deserved it (2582)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36242) - you deserved it (3710)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

#20532315
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (2296)

On 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by sotired - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

#20521678
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (2382)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30802) - you deserved it (2681)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

#20524057
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13507) - you deserved it (22812)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by girlymae (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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