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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

#20534087
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (3967)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

#20525834
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (10857)

On 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

#20521895
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (9131)

On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (3735)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (2762)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32069) - you deserved it (12571)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29877) - you deserved it (4301)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

#20535215
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (3716)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by seriously wtf (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33074) - you deserved it (2340)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (6905)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)



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