Monday 25 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25130) - you deserved it (2233)
On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (2262)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46536) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (3762)
On 03/01/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Headache - United States
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15784) - you deserved it (28852)
On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (2385)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (6125)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (6770)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (4830)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States
Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (4244)
On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (4150)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (3012)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12540) - you deserved it (32001) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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