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Saturday 23 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27934) - you deserved it (4706)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8709) - you deserved it (52648)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48906) - you deserved it (5359)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12704) - you deserved it (44329)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

#20515105
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (14925)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (4254)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML

#20519825
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (12981)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

#20526851
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11277) - you deserved it (49723)

On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19140) - you deserved it (53973)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (6468)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (4815) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

#20515797
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12294) - you deserved it (40113)

On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39538) - you deserved it (4533)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States



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