Saturday 23 February 2013 
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Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (2326)
On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (1712)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18126) - you deserved it (5016)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (2304)
On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (21595)
On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26427) - you deserved it (2799)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (6617)
On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)
Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (5160)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (6865)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (2797)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (8387)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (1428)
On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States
Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (4067)
On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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