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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (11097)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (3502)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (8105)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I realized that the only positive accomplishment my boyfriend has made in the last 3 years is that he started wearing deodorant. FML

#20525032
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27461) - you deserved it (7584)

On 02/27/2013 at 10:28pm - love - by butterflyzag20 - United States

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35920) - you deserved it (5032)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (2523)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (7776)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

#20520149
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (5196)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (9439)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33922) - you deserved it (3229)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15186) - you deserved it (24116)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (13477)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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