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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (4483) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (7306)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36708) - you deserved it (6088)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46308) - you deserved it (5110)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (6679)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (3267)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (4655)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43083) - you deserved it (9394)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33991) - you deserved it (2922)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34959) - you deserved it (4296)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (51600)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (5294)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)



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