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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (4999)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (12600)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (2240)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6916) - you deserved it (45331)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (2594)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27899) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12142) - you deserved it (30736)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

#20521895
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (8901)

On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)



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