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Sunday 10 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34554) - you deserved it (2265)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16784) - you deserved it (28129)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (2787)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9069) - you deserved it (47413)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32582) - you deserved it (3957)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (2686)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35602) - you deserved it (2596)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML

#20500922
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (2242)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10516) - you deserved it (39522)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (2144)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (8517)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (2940)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)



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