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Sunday 10 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18162) - you deserved it (2166)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (2647)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (3283)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26231) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (1526)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after three and a half years of working dead-end jobs with a bachelor's degree, I got a call from a potential employer in my degree field, who wanted to set up an interview. The problem: the interview is across the country, and I'm too broke to pay the travel expenses. FML

#20498605
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (1810)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:19pm - work - by goingnowherefast (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27813) - you deserved it (6227)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25640) - you deserved it (1322)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26830) - you deserved it (3496)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (1389)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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Wednesday 15 May 2013

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