Sunday 10 February 2013 
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Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2200)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (36141)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (21280)
On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States
Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (1922)
On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States
Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (1823) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (3116)
On 02/17/2013 at 3:02am - kids - by Lesser (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (2896)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27656) - you deserved it (2808)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you deserved it (12239)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)
Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22516) - you deserved it (2481)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (2503)
Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7908) - you deserved it (37332)
On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia
Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (12118)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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