Saturday 9 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (3345)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8477) - you deserved it (23936)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (1869)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27656) - you deserved it (2807)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (5013)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (1683)
On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (4197)
On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)
Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (3456)
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (3928)
On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (2166)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (2647)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18400) - you deserved it (3283)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26238) - you deserved it (3983)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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