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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (4044)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (5673)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40496) - you deserved it (4540)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (2115)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
93 comments

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31023) - you deserved it (2614)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after three and a half years of working dead-end jobs with a bachelor's degree, I got a call from a potential employer in my degree field, who wanted to set up an interview. The problem: the interview is across the country, and I'm too broke to pay the travel expenses. FML

#20498605
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (2178)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:19pm - work - by goingnowherefast (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32486) - you deserved it (5045)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (2252)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (27262)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)



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