Friday 8 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19061) - you deserved it (2396)
On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)
Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (2187)
On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (6199)
On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (1245)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (1928)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (2834)
On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (4907)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7912) - you deserved it (27186)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (1951)
Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (2063)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (2133)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27802) - you deserved it (1358)
Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (1947)
On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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