Tuesday 5 February 2013 
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Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (1138)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya
Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (1498)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (4847)
On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (1060)
On 02/10/2013 at 1:08am - money - by fireenginemad - United States (Washington)
Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (297) - you deserved it (1813)
On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (1626)
On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)
Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16903) - you deserved it (5752)
On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (1586)
On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (1202)
On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18991) - you deserved it (2402)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (2418)
On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States
Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (4724)
On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)
Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (1694)
On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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