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Monday 4 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (1652)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (5413)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (4644)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (2900)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (5289)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (2050)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16068) - you deserved it (26985)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (2656)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7485) - you deserved it (41759)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (1390)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9339) - you deserved it (31515)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML

#20500922
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)



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