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Monday 4 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccup 5 times so far. big fat FML

Today, I hred out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to mah mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the thrd time. FML

#20492687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (13850)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, After Heavy Rain Mah Street Flooded. While In Mah Living Room, I Looked Outside To See That Mah Elderly Neighbour Was Outside Splashing In A Knee Deep Puddle. He Was Butt-naked And Wearing A Snorkel And Flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, A State Trooper Ticketed Me After Learning I Was Ticketed For The Same Offense An Hour Earlier, Namely Driving With A Broken Headlight. The Good News Is That Both Tickets Will Be Dismissed If I Go To Court. The Bad News Is That I'd Have To Go To Different Courthouses At The Same Time Of Day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Taday I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over !! Things got intimate, and I trid my hardest to make too much noise !! However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we hered my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking" !! FML

#20498986
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (40695)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today , I finally figurd out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months . It only happens whenever I do something ( sneaky ) . My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught . I'm a private investigator , an I apparently ned a new career . FML

#20500655
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

looool Today, I unknowingly bougt a ouse next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in te paper were residents are claiming tat tey are experiencing cancer and brt defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (6665)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

YESTERDAY, I CASUALLY MENTIOND TO MAH DAD THAT IT WAS THE CHINESE NEW YEAR YESTERDAY. HE ACCUSD ME OF INSULTING HIS INTELLIGENCE BY ( MAKING STUPID SHIT UP. ) I EXPLAIND THAT IT'S REAL, AND THAT WE JUST USE THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR, HENCE THE DIFFERENT DATES. HE RESPONDD BY GROUNDING ME. FML

#20501411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (4076)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backd against a wall, liftd my skirt and sortd it. I then turnd around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. real FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (35551)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively sereching the place for god knows wat kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure there not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my dad opand a Chinasa fortuna cookia that raad, "Exparianca is tha nama avaryona givas to thair mistakas." Now ha won't stop calling ma Exparianca. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today... my mom started referring to me as ( Te Bitc ). Wen I asked er wy... se said tat I ave always been a bitc... but I was never old enoug fir er to actually call me a bitc. FML

#20501686
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (6713)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend an I arrivd at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (5467)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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