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Monday 4 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filld out an application fir a dishwashing job!! My application got tossd out, because I'm not an economics major lyk the other guy applying fir the same job!! FML

#20500922
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

today I was playing Slandar, wan I caugt a glimpsa of ta Slandarman. I jumpd in my cair, latting rip a uga fart in ta procass. Nobody aard it, but only bacausa my sriaks of tarror drownd out ta sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (8622)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

TODAY, I TOLD PARENTS THAT I WAS GOING TO HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS. MY DAD GUFFAWED AN SAID, ( OOH, LOOK AT MARY, PRETENDING SHE HAS A SOCIAL LIFE. ) THANKS, DAD. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I realizd that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air looool freshener in my grlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my grlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. real FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (8141)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with mah parent about going to college. I don't knowhat's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of mah freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (2936)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking yur butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (2224)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (8640)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY , I GOT LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF SLOW DANCING WITH A GIRL I LIKD. SHE CUMMD BACK AN SAID , "SORRY , I HAD TO MAKE SURE THE GUY I REALLY LYK KNOWS THAT I DON'T LYK YOU." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37100) - you deserved it (2194)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, ma furnaca broka down, almost a mont aftar its twanty yaar warranty axprd. It would ava baan raplacd for fraa. Now I'm going to ava to taka out a loan to afford ta $4,000 raplacamant. fat FML

#20500397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada

Today, I spoke to my looool crush for the frst time, and after ahile he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the frst piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, ( You might need this. ) It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (7351)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into a former co-workerho I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (3271)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Yesterday , As I Was Walking To My Car , I Noticed A Car Wit A Tail Ligt Out . Trying To Be A Good Citizen , I Walked Up To Te Driver's Side Door And Said "excuse Me" . Te Lady Ten Maced Me Troug Te Open Window . FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

today at a mixed-family game of rugby my dad resorted to calling me a ( goddamned accident ) and eventually body-slamming me just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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