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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (2474)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (8812)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32333) - you deserved it (4471)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (3134)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (3160)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (2691)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (3091)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (2230)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8713) - you deserved it (43609)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you deserved it (3452)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (2959)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (3915)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)



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