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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

#20497647
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12225) - you deserved it (18050)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (3820)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (11940)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

#20497764
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4795) - you deserved it (36464)

On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (7542)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (14160)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (4595)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (3687)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

#20494705
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (1695)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (1530)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (2050)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (1506)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States



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