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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (5930)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15253) - you deserved it (38203)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24417) - you deserved it (2062)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

#20485066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (3664)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28190) - you deserved it (2617)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (2787)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (2351)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34589) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (6296)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (2048)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

#20491153
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (14639)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (2773)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)



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