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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally calld the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explaind that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excusd herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (35855)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, mah fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make mah boobs larger . It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again . fat FML

#20499439
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53133) - you deserved it (6128)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I lerened that I look amazing in a little black dress!! Now I have to figure out wat I'm going to tell my wife!! FML

2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (6137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after trying to convince my grlfriend to have sex fir almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (35396)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today , after much coaxing , I finally got mah roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and mah friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months , until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (55685)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was . Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub . I somehow managd to unhook her bra . FML

#20498998
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (8191)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51365) - you deserved it (14511)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

DURING MA FIRST DAY AS A MEDICAL INTERN IN A NEW WARD... I WAS PERFORMING A RECTAL EXAM. MY SUPERVISOR TOUGT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO BURST INTO TE ROOM AND SCREAM... "WO R YOU?! YOU DON'T EVEN WORK ERE... YOU PERVERT!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today... While Trucking... I Got Stuck In Traffic On A Congested Highway. After 15 Minutes Of Mind-numbing Boredom... I Glanced Down At The Car Beside Me... Only To Witness The Driver Changing Her Tampon And Flicking The Old One Onto The Highway. I Can't Unsee This. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59952) - you deserved it (3684)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a club with girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confrontd her. She stormd off to the bar and said something to her friend,ho then came over and angrily slappd me across the face. Yeah, I'm confusd too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48106) - you deserved it (3330)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium



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