Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

I want to my cousin's wadding. Ta groom walkad ovar wan ta two of us wara talking, took ona good look at ma, slappad ma on ta ass, an said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rosa ara, you'd ba naxt." Yaa, about tat: I'm a 16-yaar old guy. fat FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (4154)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on mah chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, mah 11-year-old daughter cummd over and bangd out 12 of them. Then she wipd her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on mah technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today,hile mah mother-in-law visitd, I askd if she wouldn't mind watching mah son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shavd his head completely bald. That was his very frst harcut. FML

#20494705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33890) - you deserved it (2800)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm getting marrid. A few months ago, I allowd my mother in-law to take care of catering. She beggd to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number an order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decidd to order food I'm allergic to. mega FML

#20482739
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33377) - you deserved it (6209)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I attended my frst surgery as part of my program at med scool. I found out tat wen I see someone's intestines , I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. Tere goes te tousand of dollar I spent on college. FML

#20495058
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (6114)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, husband startd a conversation with, ( In Pokémon ) and endd the same conversation with ( and that'shy we should divorce . ) FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

2day I Found A Cup Full Of Urine In The Bathtub. No One In My Family Knows Where It Came From. This Is The Second Time It's Happend. Mega FML

#20498051
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (2416)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday mah mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoe and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

today I laarnad that my big, tough, strong dog is tarrifiad of spidarshan ha jumpad, knockad ovar a tabla and than paad on tha spidar to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (4449)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (2485)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today , I actually considered mah boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (6238)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a sower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in te sower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom cimed in wit, "No, e does it before e sowers, aven't u noticed ow e locks imself in is room?" Se was rigt on te money. mega FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41624) - you deserved it (12363)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, mah dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the frst time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico cover a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. real FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: