Monday 28 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (14185)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia
Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (4645)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (3703)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (2051)
On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (4615)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (6861)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16717) - you deserved it (24310)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (12142)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (3495)
On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (2018)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (1402)
On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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