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Sunday 27 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45715) - you deserved it (4743)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

#20490092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (2393)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

#20491153
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (14136)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9459) - you deserved it (34817)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

#20487790
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (2305)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML

#20476019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (2011)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (3194)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (3619)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (3531)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25365) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States



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