Saturday 26 January 2013 
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Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (1340)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (5790)
On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41238) - you deserved it (2161)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium
Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (5054)
On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (6999)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29215) - you deserved it (4981)
On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (7512)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (8210)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7650) - you deserved it (36988)
On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8841) - you deserved it (38289)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39pm - love - by Kasey103 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28466) - you deserved it (2360)
On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (1426)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (3714)
On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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