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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting a harcut . The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash mah hair before she startd, as it was way too greasy to cut through . big fat FML

#20473123
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (41821)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a club with girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confrontd her. She stormd off to the bar and said something to her friend,ho then came over and angrily slappd me across the face. Yeah, I'm confusd too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48106) - you deserved it (3330)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I told my parents thathat I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, an have been wanting for months. They laughed an said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone an perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (9154)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , after 2 weeks of not having sex , my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (9219)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took mah new grlfriend to meet mah grandmother. We were drinking coffee when mah gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of mah grlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, after making love to mah boyfriend 4 the first time, he shook mah hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39183) - you deserved it (7896)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I jokingly asked mah girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package . She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight . FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (37024)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough fir just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. mega FML

#20472701
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (12147)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Yesterday, I came home in a really good mood, an I greetd my husband with a grin an a ( Hi, babe! ) He just mutterd, ( Why can't you just DIE? ) an continud playing his video game. FML

#20490556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38424) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, mah mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry 4 her, had this not been her 7th husband. looool FML

#20476021
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend causd the pair of us to loose by just a single point, because he answerd "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (6625)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on mah shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)



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