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Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27696) - you deserved it (6476)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (2060)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

#20485066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (3657)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (35436)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (2317) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (5755)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (3046)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28836) - you deserved it (6289)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (2042)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (4745)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9474) - you deserved it (34844)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)



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