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Friday 25 January 2013

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Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

by Ear Invasion / 01/26/2013 at 12:53am / United States (New Mexico) / Animals

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

by I should have kept my mouth shut / 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 12:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

by asthmattack / 01/25/2013 at 1:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

by ihatemylife / 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

by imwithapples22 / 01/29/2013 at 11:39am / United States / Work

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

by frustrated / 01/22/2013 at 2:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

by Roxy19 / 01/22/2013 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2013 at 4:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

by kylie18xx21 / 02/01/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love