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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33087) - you deserved it (4204)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36853) - you deserved it (2666)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37487) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31718) - you deserved it (3814)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (48732)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (9733)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33602) - you deserved it (5325)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (4840)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (3680)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (12366)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)



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