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Tuesday 22 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

YESTERDAY I LED A CLASS OF GRADE-TWO PUPILS ON AN EXCURSION TO THE ZOO. WHEN WE WENT TO SEE THE LIONS I WAS PUTTED IN A POSITION WHERE I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO SEVEN AND EIGHT YEAR OLDS Y ONE LION WAS "BOUNCING" ON TOP OF THE OTHER ONE. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (2715)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I thought maybe I should go to my doctor cuz my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom , so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hipshile asking me y I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (5547)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Taday whila raading in tha bath I accidantally switchd tha showar on. Not wanting mah book to gat soakd I thraw it out of tha tub. Whan I got out of tha tub latar I found it had landd squaraly in tha toilat. FML

#20479000
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27412) - you deserved it (11373)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

TODAY, I FOUND OUT MAH BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN STEALING HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS FROM ME AND MAH FIANCÉ. MY WEDDING IS TOMORROW MORNING. GUESS WHO MAH BEST MAN IS. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (2528)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

today I had to looool have major oral surgery . Needless to say I am in ned of some heavy pain medication . My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never calld in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise . This has been going back and forth fir hours . FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (1930)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

TODAY , MY MOTHER INSISTED I DRESS VERY SMARTLY IN SUIT ATTRE 4 MY FRST JOB INTERVIEW AT A HIPPY-STYLE RETAIL STORE. MY INTERVIEWER WORE A PONCHO. I DIDN'T GET THE JOB. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (6598)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, te last customer of te nigt sift anded me tere money along wit a wad of tere air . FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today , my fiancé's mother cummed up to me an told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history an condition . I have no ideahat she's talking about , an she refuses to tell me . FML

#20485066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29405) - you deserved it (2416)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, it's been two days since upstars nieghbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments!! I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella!! FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (2321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to fine out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10157) - you deserved it (36620)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I Made A New Friend: The Cricket The Doctor Pulled Out Of My Ear Canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place lyk some kind of mucus cannon!! FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (6298)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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