Tuesday 22 January 2013 
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Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (15159)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (2436)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17011) - you deserved it (29650)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25864) - you deserved it (4449)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (1962)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3874)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (1733)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (21160)
On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (6854)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I needed to get a hair cut, so my boyfriend recommended I see his mother, who is a trained and licensed hairdresser. Despite the fact that she hates me, I thought she would be mature and do it nice. She butchered my hair like a toddler does their Barbie, and insists that it "suits me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24535) - you deserved it (7600)
On 01/23/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by parmetries - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (3558)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (2279)
On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (2555)
On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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