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Tuesday 22 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (6062)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (1817)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7815) - you deserved it (40864)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (12326)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML

#20471100
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7531) - you deserved it (36147)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:11am - money - by sorrygranny (woman) - United States

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (3553)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26447) - you deserved it (2598)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

#20478634
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (1897)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (7951)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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