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Monday 21 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, an he took me back to his house fir the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (4531)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" fir our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've livd together fir four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday mah boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48441) - you deserved it (5635)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

2day I met with mah Bolivian friend,ho's vacationing here 4 a few weeks!! Eager to show him how welcoming we r in the USA, I took him home an introducd him to mah parents!! The first words out of mah dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We savd yur asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, while babysitting my neighbors kids, there oldest son usd a paint pen on the carpet!! The boy blamd me an I got frd!! He's only 3 an can barely talk!! FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (5155)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today , I was cleaning at workhen an elderly gentleman walkd toward me , pausd , and with a wink said , "That'shat I like to see: a grl on her knees." This is the same workplacehere another old man informd me that mah yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (2619)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was upset cuz my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me 4 my brthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, an we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realizd she forgot to call me yesterday as well. fat FML

#20474927
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

2day the police arrivd at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boyho lookd about 15 huggd me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 yeres old and had never seen this boy looool in my life. mega FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovarad tat ma downstairs naigbor is running a businass out of ar apartmant. Or I sould say, ar looool pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Yesterday , I caught mah 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (5056)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at mah cousin's birthday party, mah grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that looool tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. real FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

TODAY, I WAS DRIVING MAH 9 MONTH PREGNANT SISTER AROUND IN OUR GOLF CART AND IT DID!! I HAD TO PUSH IT THE REST OF THE WAY HOME!! SHE WOULDN'T STOP FAKING GOING INTO LABOR!! FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (3968)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today While Video Chatting With Grlfriend, Who Lives On The Other Side Of The Country, I Thought I'd Play A Song Fir Her On Guitar. The String Broke And Hit Me In The Face. I Burst Into Tears And Had To Hang Up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (7563)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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