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Sunday 20 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (6632)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (6930)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (6374)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (3112)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2107)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (4057)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32028) - you deserved it (2567)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (3293)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40858) - you deserved it (4050)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58373) - you deserved it (6708)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (5338)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom



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