Saturday 19 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (5410)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8841) - you deserved it (38289)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39pm - love - by Kasey103 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28466) - you deserved it (2360)
On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (2267)
On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14992) - you deserved it (27240)
On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13616) - you deserved it (29481)
On 01/19/2013 at 1:14am - money - by LaLince (man) - Switzerland
Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (4754)
On 01/26/2013 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Lauren324 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30618) - you deserved it (3976)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47577) - you deserved it (4447)
On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (3970)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (2785)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36841) - you deserved it (6127)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (1731)
On 01/20/2013 at 7:27am - work - by musicalrose_21 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Sunday 12 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
