Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32262) - you deserved it (4616)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34980) - you deserved it (3760)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17369) - you deserved it (26453)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (5371)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48634) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41938) - you deserved it (4276)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38052) - you deserved it (2578)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (4523)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (47940)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47121) - you deserved it (5510)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (8914)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: