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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25591) - you deserved it (6653)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (2584)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (14123)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (7555)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27674) - you deserved it (6474)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (15695)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

#20463186
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30811) - you deserved it (1790)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40720) - you deserved it (5076)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9560) - you deserved it (35412)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29779) - you deserved it (2521)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)



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