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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (3624)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (6692)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11682) - you deserved it (33787)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (2266)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (3574)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (1834)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (3199)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (1883)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (2253)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (10292)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (13854)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)



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