Friday 18 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (3966)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14206) - you deserved it (18619)
On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (10450)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33655) - you deserved it (2886)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (3877)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (2332)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37894) - you deserved it (3548)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (2805)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (2574)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (3631)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (2374)
On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)
Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (3046)
On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland
Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (2281)
On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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