Thursday 17 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14996) - you deserved it (27270)
On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13625) - you deserved it (29487)
On 01/19/2013 at 1:14am - money - by LaLince (man) - Switzerland
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47720) - you deserved it (4453)
On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (3970)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (2787)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36980) - you deserved it (6137)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (1731)
On 01/20/2013 at 7:27am - work - by musicalrose_21 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (3170)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (4692)
On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)
Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (3440)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34692) - you deserved it (3777)
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26228) - you deserved it (3095)
On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States
Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (23699)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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