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Thursday 17 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (6922)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (1280)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (2564)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (5689)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26385) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (3623)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (6692)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11680) - you deserved it (33775)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (8109)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (2266)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (3574)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)



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