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Thursday 17 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (3875)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39787) - you deserved it (4978)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (35378)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25060) - you deserved it (1734)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (21169)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (5907)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (6430)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (6805)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I needed to get a hair cut, so my boyfriend recommended I see his mother, who is a trained and licensed hairdresser. Despite the fact that she hates me, I thought she would be mature and do it nice. She butchered my hair like a toddler does their Barbie, and insists that it "suits me". FML

#20474272
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (7601)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by parmetries - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (2279)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (2557)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States



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