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Monday 14 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50279) - you deserved it (4255)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (9767)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (8300)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (39667)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45219) - you deserved it (7625)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (3433)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63675) - you deserved it (7329)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16756) - you deserved it (29839)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46234) - you deserved it (7485)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36305) - you deserved it (6480)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (5002)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML



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